Mal: "What was
you see that?"
Mal: "Was that the primary
Wash: "Did seem to resem-"
Mal: "Did the primary buffer
panel just fall off my gorram ship for no apparent reason?!"
Wash: "Yeah well, if she doesn't
give us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burn through, this
landing is gonna get pretty interesting."
Mal: "Define interesting."
Wash: "Oh god oh god we're all gonna die?"
Mal: "This is the captain. We
have a...little problem with our engine sequence, so we may experience some
slight turbulence and then...explode."
Mal: "Yeah well, just get us
on the ground."
Wash: "That part will happen
Jayne: "We're gonna explode? I
don't wanna explode."
Mal: "Jayne, how many weapons
you plannin' on takin'? You only got the two arms."
Jayne: "Well I just excitable
as to choice, like to have my options open."
Mal: "I don't plan on any
shooting taking place during this job."
Jayne: "Yeah well, what you plan
and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar."
Zoe: "Those grenades?"
Jayne: "Yeah, Cap'n don't want 'em."
Zoe: "Jayne, we're robbing the
place, we're not occupying 'em."
Mal: (ship shakes violently) "Kaylee, what in the spincter o' hell you playing at?"
Mal: "Fear's nothin' to be
ashamed of, doctor."
Simon: "This isn't fear. This
Mal: "Well. Kinda hard to tell
one from t'other, face like yours."
Simon: "Well I imagine if it
were fear, my eyes would be wider."
Mal: "Hmm. I'll keep a look
out for that next time."
Mal: "I look out for me and
mine. That don't include you 'less I conjure it does. Now you stuck a thorn in
the Alliance's paw -- that tickles me a bit. But it also means I gotta step
twice as fast to avoid 'em, and that means turnin' down plenty of jobs. Even
honest ones. Put this crew together with the promise of work, which the Alliance
makes harder every year. Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us
to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well not be another. So here's
us, on the raggedy edge."
Mal: "Hey little one.
Understand your part in all this?"
River: "Do you?"
Mal: "This is what I do, darlin'.
This is what I do."
Mal: "Quit fiddlin'. Have the
boat run smooth when we get back."
Kaylee: "Have faith, Cap'n."
Mal: "Not today."
Simon: "Now River, stay behind
the others. If there's fighting, you drop to the floor and run away." (stage
whispers) "It's okay to leave them to die."
Mal: "Doctor, I'm taking your
sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I
swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears."
Jayne: "Shiny. Let's be bad
Mal: "Y'all want to be lookin'
very intently at your own bellybuttons. See a head start to rise, violence is
going to ensue. Probably guessed we mean to be thievin' here but what we're
after's not yours, so...let not have no undue fuss."
Zoe: (sliding gun barrel
alongside security guard's face) "You know what the definition of a hero is?
Someone who gets other people killed. You can look it up later."
Zoe: (on mostly empty safe) "At
last. We can retire and give up this life of crime."
Mal: (to unseen guard in vault
below) "Listen up! We're comin' down to empty that vault."
Guard: "You have to give me
your authorization password." (Jayne points gun down the the stairwell and
fires several rounds) "Okay."
Mal: (negotiating with
guard where to shoot him) "The leg is good. It'll bleed plenty and we avoid
any necessary organs."
Guard: "I was thinking more of
Mal: "Well you don't want to
look like you just gave up."
(on Reaver ship coming up
behind) "Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!"
Jayne: "You shoot me if they
take me!" (sees Mal's gun pointed at his leg) "Well don't shoot me first!"
River: "I swallowed a bug."
(pushes aside severely injured Jayne, to
Simon) "Are you okay?!"
Mal: (offended) "Is he
Simon: "Oh 'one simple job,
she'll be fine'!"
Mal: "She is fine! 'Cept for
still bein' crazy she's the picture of health!"
Mal: "Mule won't run with five.
I shoulda dumped the girl, or you, or Jayne? Well, Jayne..."
Zoe: "Sir, I don't disagree on
any particular point. It's just...in a time of war, we would've never left a man
Mal: "Maybe that's why we
Jayne: "I'll kill a man in a
fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or
if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid."
Jayne: "Eating people alive?
Where's that get fun?"
Kaylee: (clearly upset) "Don't
talk to the barkers, talk to the captains. Look the captain in the eye, know who
you're dealin' with."
Simon: "I wish there was-"
(Mal brushes past, glares)
Kaylee: "Shouldna be so clean.
It's a dead giveaway you don't belong, you always gotta be tidy. Don't pay
anybody in advance. And don't ride in anything with a Capasan-38 engine, they
fall right outta the sky."
Mal: "Kaylee, this is a place of
business. We can talk about Simon-"
Kaylee: "When he's four worlds
away? Or the Alliance gets ahold of him and River?"
Mal: "That ain't my worry. I
gotta finish this job, get us another one. Can't do that carryin' those two."
Kaylee: "How can you be so
Zoe: "Cap'n didn't make them
Kaylee: "But he coulda made 'em
family. 'stead of keepin' Simon from seein' I was there. And I carried such a
torch! And we coulda...goin' on a year now and I ain't had nothin' twixt my
nethers weren't run on batteries!"
Mal: (horrified) "Oh
God! I can't know that!"
Jayne: "I could stand to hear
Mal: "Fanti. Mingo."
Mingo: "He's Mingo"
Mal: "He's Fanti, you're Mingo."
Mingo: "How is it you always
Mal: "Fanti's prettier."
Wash: "Start with the part where
Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, 'cause I don't think that's ever gettin' old."
Simon: "It's a phrase, that
makes her fall asleep. If I speak the words 'eta chora-"
Jayne: (jumps out of his chair) "Don't say it!"
Zoe: "It only works on her,
Jayne: "Well now I know that."
Jayne: "No, not now that she's
a...a killer woman, we oughtta be bringin' her tea and dumplings!"
Mal: "It's of interest to me,
how much you seem to know about that world."
Book: "Wasn't born a Shepherd,
Mal: "You'll have to tell me
about that sometime."
Book: "No. I don't."
Wash: "Inara...nice to see her
Zoe: "We goin' in?"
Mal: "Ain't but a few hours
Wash: (confused) "Yeah,
but...remember the part where it's a trap?"
Mal: "If that's the case then Inara's already caught in it. She wouldn't set us up willin'. Might be we get a
shot at seein' who's turnin' these wheels. We go in."
Kaylee: "But how can you be sure Inara don't just wanna see you? Sometimes people have feelings. I'm referring
here to people."
Mal: "Y'all were watchin', I
Kaylee: (everyone looks
Mal: "Did you see us fight?"
Mal: "Zoe, ship is yours.
Remember: if anything happens to me, if you don't hear from me within the hour,
you take the ship -- and you come and you rescue me."
Zoe: "What? Risk my ship?"
Mal: (kneeling at altar, in
disguise) "Dear Buddha: please bring me a pony, and a plastic rocket-"
Inara: "Mal, what are you
Mal: "Well, you invited me."
Inara: "I never thought for a
second you'd be stupid enough to come!"
Mal: "Well that makes you kind
of a tease, doesn't it?"
Operative: "I have to say,
Captain: I'm impressed that you would come for her yourself. And that you would
make it this far...in that outfit."
Operative: "I think you're
beginning to understand how dangerous River Tam is."
Mal: "She is a mite
unpredictable. Mood swings, of a sort."
Operative: "It's worse than you
Mal: "It usually is."
Operative: "That girl will
rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain."
Mal: "Way I remember it,
albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it." (to Inara) "Yes,
I've read a poem, try not to faint."
Operative: "I have a warship in
deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of
Mal: "You do that," (pulls
out Serenity's pulse beacon) "you'd best make peace with your dear and
Mal: "I never credited the
Alliance with an overabundance of brains, and if you're the best they've got-"
Operative: "Captain Reynolds,
I should tell you, so that you don't waste your time: you can't make me angry."
Inara: "Please. Spend an hour
Inara: "We have every reason
to be afraid."
Jayne: "Why because this guy
beat up Mal? That ain't so hard."
Inara: "Think maybe it poses
some kind of threat to the Alliance?"
Wash: "Do we care? A-Are we
caring about that?"
Jayne: "Oh yeah, hidin' up the
Shepherd's skirts, that's a manful scheme."
Mal: "You wanna run this ship?!"
Mal: "Well y-...you can't!"
Simon: "We'll get off. River
and I will get off at Haven-"
Kaylee: "Nobody's saying
Wash: "Nobody besides Jayne is
Mal: "Shouldn't've been you.
Alliance shoulda hit us. Shoulda hit me."
Book: "That crossed my mind."
Book: "I killed the ship
that...killed us. It's not very Christian of me."
Mal: "You did what's right."
Book: "Coming from you that
"She is starting to damage my calm."
Mal: "So no more runnin'. I aim
Jayne: "Shepherd Book used to
tell me, 'Can't do somethin' smart, do somethin' right'."
Zoe: "It's a fair bet the
Alliance knows about Mr. Universe. They're gonna see this comin'."
Mal: "No. They're not gonna see
Operative: "Target the Reavers...target
the Reavers...target everyone...somebody FIRE!"
Wash: "I'm a leaf on the
wind...watch how I soar."
Mal: (watching battle
around them in grim satisfaction) "Chickens come home to roost."
Wash: (flying debris
glances off ship's hull, rattling everyone) "It's okay...I-I'm a leaf on the
right. Can't be thinkin' on revenge if we're gonna get through this."
Zoe: "Do you
really think any of us are gonna get through this?"
(looks around, anxious) "Well I might."
(via his buffybot): "Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How
weird is that?"
Simon: "My one
regret in all of this, is never being with you."
me? You mean to say...sex?"
Simon: "I mean
with this...I'm gonna live!"
(pulling himself up after being shot) "Shot me in the back! Haven't made you
angry, have I?"
you really believe that?"
Mal: "I do."
willing to die for that belief?"
Mal: "I am."
(pulls out his gun and shoots at the Operative repeatedly) "Course, that
ain't exactly Plan A."
Zoe: "How much
ammo do we have?"
full mags. And my swingin' cod."
you know what your sin is?"
Mal: "Aw hell.
I'm a fan of all seven."
"You've done remarkable things. But you're fighting a war you've already lost."
well, I'm known for that."
Mal: "Ain't all
buttons and charts, little albatross. Know what the first rule of flying is?
Well I s'pose you do, since you already know what I'm 'bout to say."
River: "I do.
But I like to hear you say it."
Mal: "Love. Can
know all the math in the 'verse but take a boat in the air that you don't love?
She'll shake you off just as sure as a turn in the worlds. Love keeps her in the
air when she oughtta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes
her a home."
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